I hear the door latch click. Finally, not alone. Now I can drag someone else down too! It's not meant to be like this. Two months ago, everything was good. I was happy, Derek was here. Mia was moving ahead with her life. Now I'm sitting here staring out at a damp, cold February evening, alone.

That was the thought. Julie didn't say it. She never said any of it.

Julie recognised that she had hardly moved all day. She had watched Mia wander down the path at 7:45am this morning and, save for a trip to the bathroom around lunchtime, she had sat here all day.

The door latch brought her back to reality, and at that second, she hated the door latch. She didn't want to be here. Not this version of here.

She knew she would have to talk to Mia now. Even this was painful. Mia shouldn't be here. Mia should be at Joe's flat in Oval. She should be where she is happy. Not here. Not with me.

It had been over a month. That afternoon at Croydon hospital was the worst she had ever had.

Sitting, staring, ignoring the world. Occasionally Julie would look around the room. It was the same cottage living room that it had been before. Furniture, pictures on the wall, Mia smiling, a happy looking Julie with a happy looking Derek in wedding clothes.

Mia walked into the room, with a smile "Hi mum." She was still trying to be positive.

"How was your day" she asked.

Julie just looked at Mia. She still looked pretty, but her glow was gone again. Mia's eyes showed the strain of long hours, a long commute and coming home to an empty house.

"Let me get you something to eat, mum." Mia's voice prompted Julie to bring her focus back from the edge of nothing. Julie thought, I'm not helpless, but the words came out differently "Whatever you like, but not too much, it would be a shame to waste it."

What have I done? The thought suddenly hit Julie in a panic. Tomorrow night she would be on her own. Mia needed some time to herself, Julie could see that, but she couldn't cope without her!

***

Mia had come back to mum's cottage every night, since restarting work. They had given her two weeks compassionate leave but now she was having to juggle her time between work and Julie.

Joe was being so supportive, but it was costing them both. Joe had taken the news badly, they both had, but she could see Joe being Joe. He was doing everything he could to be strong for her, to support her.

Today she had called Ben. This was the second time they had spoken since that day. The first time had been to explain what had happened.

She had called because she needed him to know, to be ready. Which was why she had called again today. Joe needed a friend, someone with whom he could be open and honest. Ben was that friend.

Mia understood that Joe would look after others to the point of self-destruction. Mia needed him preserved.

Now Mia stood looking at her mum. It was obvious that she had sat in the chair all day. Her mum looked, there was no other word for it, hollow. Mentally and physically.

"I will go and make an omelette. We can eat together – OK?"

Julie shrugged, Mia accepted it as a positive shrug.

"Come on mum, dinner's ready!"

Julie slowly stood and came to the table. She looked scared.

"What's wrong?" asked Mia.

"Tomorrow. I don't think I can do it, I'm sorry, but being alone, this house, the nighttime, I can't…"

"I know mum, but I have a surprise for you. Ellie is coming down, she will be here after lunch, she had taken the afternoon off. OK?"

Julie's face relaxed a little.

"Ok, dear"

***

Sitting in the flat at 6:07pm, Joe stared ahead. Before last summer, even through much of the autumn, he would never have thought stability would be a large part of his life.

Mia wasn't there. They talked all the time, but he missed her being there. Julie felt like a ghost. Joe understood why their relationship was difficult. Derek had made it acceptable. Manageable.

Now Derek was gone.

Joe had never lost a friend. Maybe that sounded like luck. The reality, he knew, was that he had very few real friends.

This morning he had received an email from Mr Michael Hargreaves – Solicitor regarding Mr Derek Raikes.

Joe had called as soon as he read it and had arranged a meeting for 10am tomorrow morning.

Ben had texted and suggested meeting up for a curry tonight. It was a welcome invitation.

Ben pulled up outside Joe's flat his customary three minutes early. "Joe needs someone to listen to him," she had said.

"Thanks for this Ben, I needed to get out."

"I'm really sorry about Derek," said Ben.

"Yes," replied Joe. Yes is not a suitable response. Joe could not think of a more suitable reply so 'Yes' is what Ben got.

"I have an appointment to see Derek's solicitor tomorrow. I'm not sure why."